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[Table] IAmA: We are Yahoo! Sports' NHL hockey experts, here for the 3rd round of the playoffs. AMA!

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Date: 2013-05-31
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Questions Answers
Will the Sharks ever win the Cup? And will it be in my lifetime? Depends. How young are you? -SL.
How old are you? -Sam.
29. You got some time. Next year will likely be the last hurrah for their main core. It will be interesting to see what kind of moves Doug Wilson makes this summer. Does he go for broke next year and stock up or keep an eye to transitioning the team into Logan Couture's hands. -SL.
1) Do you find it problematic that the final 5 teams were the last 5 teams that won the Cup? No, and I think this story is woefully overplayed. NYNJD/PHO/LAK in the final 4 last season, a.k.a 1994/2003/NeveNever.
On a scale of 1 to Vancouver, how ugly would it have gotten if Seabrook hadn't scored that game winner in OT? And do you think a Chicago loss there might have led the league to actually take a look at the officiating? I've been consistent in saying there was nothing wrong with Walkom's call. Players make far, far more mistakes than officials do - and missed/wrong calls tend to even out IMHO. -SM.
3) Do the Leafs re-sign Bozak or does he walk? I think he re-signs, and I think it's important to Kessel that he does.
What is the Stanley Cup Final match up that you want to see? Pittsburgh-Chicago. Two star-studded teams who play entertaining hockey. Think we'd see a similar series to Detroit-Chicago - the way hockey's meant to be played. - SM.
Pittsburgh vs. Chicago. But mostly because those are my picks. - Wysh.
What's the consensus opinion about next year's realignment plans? Do you guys like the divisions? What teams do you think are poised to be in the best position for a long time? I like the geography of it, and love Columbus moving East more than Detroit, whom I believe the West needs for TV purposes. But the playoff format makes me nervous. -Wysh.
What was the biggest downfall for the Sharks in the second round? An inept road PP? The Torres suspension? Not screening Quick? Something else? Not taking Game 2 in LA. Rare will be the opportunities to beat that team on home ice. -Wysh.
San Jose being top-heavy, LA stealing Game 2, and LA being better. -- HM.
Thanks for doing this guys. Can we talk 2014 Olympics briefly? What are the real chances we don't see NHL players in Sochi? Could you also give us a few guys pushing to make the Team USA roster? Zero percent chance the NHL doesn't go to Sochi.
Quick should be the Team USA starter. Two names I'm intrigued by: Derek Stepan and Kevin Shattenkirk.
They'll go. 90% they'll go. -Sam.
With the new divisional realignment set for next season, do you think teams like Carolina and 'Lumbus will have any chance to hang with the other teams in that division? it seems it's expected they'll be perennial punching bags. The way the playoff situation will work under realignment, there are going to be some good teams missing the postseason. Teams like the Canes and Blue Jackets will have a tough time cracking the divisional top 4. -SL.
As someone who has never watched the sport, what should I pay attention to when I put on a game? What was the best goal or play that you have witnessed? Pay attention to what players without the puck do, whether it's getting open for a pass or defending a play.
If you could hang out with your favorite player, what beer would you drink or what sci-fi movie would you watch together? Don't just watch/look for the puck. Watch how the players skate to find space and create scoring chances. I would drink an Old Speckled Hen with Karl Alzner and MST3K the shit out of "After Earth" Pick a player wand watch them for their entire shift.
When was your first experience with hockey? First experience was playing in my driveway with my older brothers. We used milkcrates as goals.
Where will Ryan Miller land? Where will Luongo land? Will it be on the Isle or elsewhere? Miller's an interesting one, because I'm not sure where the options are. Could Philly kick the tires? The Islanders? What about a team that really needs an upgrade like Edmonton?
Luongo ... sheesh, who knows? -Wysh.
After what Mike Babcock has done with this year's group of Red Wings, is it too much of a stretch to say he is the clear-cut best coach in hockey? He's now won the Cup, Olympic Gold and several IIHF Championships at various levels. If not, who would round out a Top 5? Not sure if he's the "clear-cut" best because other coaches deserve kudos too...but if you want to say Babcock's the best coach in the NHL, I won't fight you on it. -Sam.
Any thoughts on the supposed Islanders interest in Luongo? "Interest" is the key word. All teams have interest in players. 29 teams have "interest" in Sidney Crosby. Reality says the Islanders don't take on such a long-term and rich contract, given their current spending habits. -SL.
I still comes down to whether Luongo would play there. How this fact seems to always get ignored in fantasy trade casting is beyond me. - Wysh.
I think they're interested, and I think Luongo would go there. I honestly think the idea that he'd only go to Florida is overblown. He himself said he never vetoed a trade last summer, and while that's been reported, I don't buy it. I think he just wants to play, and I think he'd happily do it in Long Island/Brooklyn. -- H<
My jersey has 44 and "Pickles" on the back. I love it, and he chuckled when he signed it, but: Nickname = Jersey Foul? (If yes, I'll dig up a picture and you can publicly humiliate me.) Tough call. There's some thought that an official nickname might be OK. But those are the people with No. 28 Jiz jerseys.
How do you feel about torts "dismissal"? He didn't become a horsebleep coach overnight and the Rangers' decision to not keep Prust and Rupp didn't help him. But he's not the right guy to direct this roster. - SM.
Had to happen. Players stopped playing for him, and it's gotten to the point where Lundqvist needs to win every playoff game 2-1 or 1-0. That's untenable. - Wysh.
Why can't Michael Ryder catch a break? He dented the Stanley Cup. It's a curse. -SL Link to sports.yahoo.com
Which basement dweller team do you see having a breakout season next year and making a run at the playoffs? At some point over the next 2-3 seasons the Oilers and their young talent will breakout. Right? -SL.
Last week I made the clutch Twitter decision to unfollow Wyshinski and follow Mooney instead. I'm happy so far, but what are your thoughts on the decision? Your "hockey song parody" intake just increased by 100%. -SL.
I can only assume palpable boredom is your path to happiness. #CallTheYawning - Wysh.
You know you can follow two people, right? In fact, I've heard you can follow more than two and you don't even have to pay or anything! For real though, Wysh sucks compared to me. Sucks. -- HM.
Who will win the first game between Chicago and la and what will the score be? It's in Chicago, the Kings have struggled on the road, so...LA, obviously. Final score: 12-8. -Sam.
Is it possible to pick against Gabe Landeskog? -SL. Seriously? It's Henrik Lundqvist. No contest. He's the most beautiful person in the world. Even Tortorella thinks so... -Sam. Yes, because Henrik Lundqvist exists. Give your head a shake, Leahy. -- HM.
How will the Kings defend their title? Hopping on Jonathan Quick's back and hiding in Penner's beard when things get, uh, hairy. -SL.
Has the sharks window closed entirely? so much talent and regular season dominance for so many years and not even a single stanley cup appearance to show for it. Not at all. One more kick at the can in 2013-14 before Jumbo and Marleau go UFA. - Wysh.
Sharks still have a couple years left with this core. -Sam.
Do you think this post seasons "do no harm" policy regarding headshots and suspensions is the new line going forward? What I mean is do you think the bar has been raised yet again in regards to what constitutes a good hockey hit? Great point and it has. Players going to have to think really hard about making open-ice hits after the Gryba hit on Eller in the Sens-Habs series.
As a disgruntled Caps fan, do you read anything into the Rangers lack of penalties at MSG (In the Bruins series as well)? They were a disciplined team in the regular season too -- fewest minors. - GW.
They lost some Burkian truculence with the departures of Prust and Rupp. More a matter of discipline than any conspiracy theory re: MSG.
I've got a theory that if Pittsburgh wins again the cup this year or next year, Malkin is going to want to leave the Penguins to take on a new challenge and have his own team instead of being on Crosby's team. Am I crazy? Ah, yes, The Scottie Pippen Theory. Think both are quite happy to be Penguins, winning titles, all of that. -Wysh.
Is the NHL ever going to get over the fact that penalties in the regular season should also be penalties in the playoffs? Powerplays and Penalty kills are an important part of the game too! I do think they're getting better at it. Intensity and physicality gets ramped up in playoffs compared to regular season, so it's difficult for refs to quickly adapt to more rugged, clutchy-grabby style of play. -Sam.
Do you think the history between Jagr, and the penguins is gonna add some more tension to the game? Probably more for the fans than the players/teams. Jagr left Pitt so long ago, he doesn't have much of a connection to today's cast of Penguins.
Do you think that having Torey Krug will make a change in the win loss ratio currently held between the two? ___ If the Bruins are relying on Torey Krug to continue being the difference-maker, I think they're in trouble.
Do you know if Tim Thomas is still going to the islanders, or do you think he is retiring ? My guess is we don't see Tim Thomas in the NHL again. -Sam.
Do you guys hate the sharks as much as every other eastern media sight does? I was pulling for the Sharks to win the Cup this year. Best story ever. - Wysh.
Are you kidding? I've predicted the Sharks to win the Stanley Cup for the past 8 years in a row... - Sam.
How does one hate Joe Thornton or Logan Couture or Patrick Marleau? OK, so Jeremy Roenick hates PM, but... -SL.
Sharp or Lundqvist? Too much handsome there to choose. -SL.
Do you guys think the situation in Phoenix will ever get sorted out? Do you think it's more likely they stay or get moved if it does? Is that you, Shane Doan? -Sam.
Seriously...no idea...it's been a soap opera for a decade and the NHL has owned/run the Coyotes for 3+ years...but for some reason, I think it gets sorted this year. The league will find a buyer who'll keep Coyotes in Phoenix. For a while, anyway. -Sam.
I'm sure there have been many questions about coaching with the recent firings, but who do you think is Vancouver's best option for a coach? And what do you guys think the Canucks need to to do win a Stanley Cup? Re-tool, re-build? Thanks! Whoever gets Lindy Ruff will be very happy. But my 5-cent guess is that he doesn't end up in Vancouver. The window to win is still open for the Canucks. I think they got a couple years left with this core. -Sam.
Are the Sabres crazy for keeping Regier at GM? Seems like when you miss the playoffs 4 out of the last 6 seasons there's a talent problem that should have been addressed. I was surprised there wasn't total regime change, but Darcy did some good things at the trade deadline. - Wysh.
I know nothing about hockey. At all. I live in Raleigh, and my coworkers have way too much to say about the Hurricanes. Can you give me something smart to say to get them to leave me alone about my lack of hockey knowledge? Or at least a talking point that will get them to converse amongst themselves for ten minutes? You should to go a Canes game. The atmosphere there is incredible and they might have the best tailgate party in the NHL. -SL.
Tell them you won't rest until Marc Staal is a Hurricane. -Sam.
Which do you think we will see first: The leafs win the cup, the return of halley's comet? How about Sidney Crosby's beard will finally grow in? -SL.
What am I, an astronomer? -Sam.
Jonathan Quick: Robot Ninja, or Cyborg Jedi? Robot Sith, like Cyborg Darth Maul - GW.
I know this doesn't relate to this playoff round, but do you see the Lightning making it to the postseason next year? It's going to be awfully difficult in their new division once realignment kicks in. They'll have tough competition from the Bruins, Habs, Red Wings, Leafs, Sens, and maybe an improved Sabres team. -SL.
No secret that the Bolts need to improve defensively and get better goaltending. I like the potential of Bishop-Lindback tandem. -Sam.
Rask, Crawford, Quick, or Vokoun? Quick every day of the week. -SL.
I'd f--k Crawford, marry Quick, kill Rask and pin it on Vokoun.
That was the question, right? - Wysh.
Will Toews show up this series? Short answer is...yes. He's too good to be held off the scoresheet for long. And don't forget he does a lot of things that don't show up on the scoresheet, too. - Sam.
Now that San Jose is out, the road to the Stanley Cup no longer goes through Vancouver. This streak lasted three years. What fresh area of pain will Canucks fans use to fill this void of victimhood? Maybe they'll trade Roberto Luongo, the goalie, in exchange for Roberto Luongo, the head coach? - Sam.
Where do the NY Islanders go from here? i don't know where they stand for draft picks, but with their current youth, you'd think now is the time to trade for some star power. Do you think they retain Nabokov? Other than goaltending where is the most pressing need? I think the Islanders need to package picks and prospects and upgrade their defense. Get a true, veteran stud back there. Maybe come knocking on Vancouver's door for one, in exchange for younger players.
Hossa is in the same buyout conversation as Richards. Assuming NY and CHI pull the trigger for safety's sake, where do you think they land as UFA's? do you suppose they'll take cuts or just sign somwhere at the same rate for shorter deals? I'd be stunned if Hawks buy out Hossa this summer. Richards...you know, I think the Rangers will keep him...but if he bets bought out...how about going back to Tampa Bay? -Sam.
1) How strongly do you believe in advanced statistics? 2) I may be wrong, but the NHL had indicated that they wanted to start officially recording advanced statistics. Do you know which ones they have planned? Although I'm an old-fart sports journalist, there's a big appetite for advanced stats. Cam Charron who writes for our Buzzing the Net blog, is one of the best out there. Going to read a lot more from him in the future. Link to ca.sports.yahoo.com
Why hasn't Vokoun broken into your Conn Smythe watch? Here's been serviceable, not spectacular. Malkin, Sid and Dupuis have been better. - GW
Due to the capitals early round exit, do you guys think ovechkin will want to be traded because he is unhappy with Washingtons postseason performances over the last 5 years? Nah, I think Ovechkin is a Capital for life. Which is sorta the problem. -Wysh.
What do the St. Louis Blues need to do to get a cup? Who do you see in net for them next season? And can you see them shipping any of the mainstays (Stewart, Oshie, Backes, etc) away for a real-deal center? Money goaltending in the playoffs is a good place to start. Otherwise, there's a lot to like about the Blues. -Sam.
Who gets booed more in Boston -- Matt Cooke or Jarome Iginla? Uh, Matt Cooke. And it's not close. -Sam.
After I pointed out to a friend yesterday that the last four cup winners are still in contention, all dominant American franchises, he asked me what I thought of the NHL rigging games so that Canadian teams don't make it very far into the playoffs. Why do so many Canadian hockey fans go about our teams' failures as if we were cheated? The only people who should be blamed for the Canucks not winning a game or the Leafs collapsing in Game 7 or the Sens not being able to compete with the Pens are the teams themselves, wouldn't you agree? There hasn't been a good conspiracy sine the moon landing -- and Montreal won the Stanley Cup that year. -Sam.
What team is going to make the most drastic moves this offseason? How will teams like Philly, Vancouver, and San Jose get out of cap jail? I'm watching Buffalo, Colorado, Edmonton, NY Rangers, Ottawa, Philly (always Philly), Tampa & Vancouver. -Sam.
No Lambert still? Ugh. Who will the Rangers hire for their next head coach? Messier? Ruff? Maurice? I like Ruff for the Rangers. Vigneault has been getting some mention too. -Sam.
Who do you believe is front runner right now for playoff MVP? The way Quick is playing, no one is in his stratosphere. -SL.
I think it's Quick. The Kings obviously have to advance, but he's so damn good right now I think there's a chance he goes back to back. - Wysh.
Sexiest swede in the league? Is it possible to pick against Gabe Landeskog? -SL.
Seriously? It's Henrik Lundqvist. No contest. He's the most beautiful person in the world. Even Tortorella thinks so... -Sam.
Do you think expansion will or should happen in the NHL? I think 32 teams makes a lot of sense. Where? Another one in Toronto and a return to Quebec City. If there's relocation (cough coyotes cough), how about Seattle? -Sam.
Yes, because Henrik Lundqvist exists. Give your head a shake, Leahy. -- HM. Oh, wow. How did I forget Hank? I'm sorry. I will go to church and say 100 "Hail Henrik's" as penance.
Is Borje Salming still in the league? Takes chiselled good looks to new heights. - SM.
1) With Roy as the new Avalanche coach, how successful do you think he will be? 1) Think Roy will be fine for the Avs. He paid his dues and learned the coaching ropes with the Remparts. What will be interesting is how his style works at the NHL level. Will he demand as much from his players like he did himself as a player?
2) What do you think the Avs are going to do with the 1st pick? I think the odds are on Jones, but some rumors about even trading the pick away are coming through the pipes. 2) I think they take Jones. Roy saying they might look to trade the No. 1 is to allow some drunk NHL GM to offer him some ridiculous package for it, which in this league is possible. -SL.
3) What are your general thoughts about the short-term future of the Avalanche, considering their youth, first overall pick and the hiring of Roy as coach and VP of hockey ops? Patrick Roy...part of me thinks he'll be boom-or-bust as an NHL coach. But really, he's so competitive and knowledgeable, and such a hard worker and garners so much respect that I think he'll do well. Probably be a learning curve for the first season, and Avs are certainly no lock to make the playoffs next year. -Sam.
Of all the Puck Daddy crew which of you can actually say you can lace em up and play some form of ice hockey? Harrison does some ice dancing, but not at a competitive level. -Sam.
You need a scoring winger? 'Cuz I got my skates in the car. -SL.
Which team do you think can take more positives from these playoffs-Detroit or Ottawa? Ottawa. They again succeeded despite numerous injuries that would have crippled other teams. -SL.
Sens. -Sam.
Ottawa. A lot of young guys got a shot this year thanks to all the injuries and showed that they were ready for an increased role. It could expedite their process towards becoming a real contender. -- HM. Sens for sure. Anderson put himself in play for a spot on the Olympic team, Turris took a step forward and Murray looks pretty damn smart for the Methot pickup.
Harrison - If you could pick a second-tier comic book hero to represent you in a single-elimination bracket, who would it be? I'm not Harrison. So can I pick Harrison as my second-tier comic book hero? -Sam.
Luke Cage, a.k.a. Powerman. At one time just a gangsta in Harlem, he was recruited for an experimental cell regeneration process based on a variant of the Super-Solider procedure that made Warhawk. Unfortunately, as he's undergoing the procedure, one of his enemies messes with the controls, hoping to kill him. He fails, and instead the accelerated limits of the program give him superhuman strength and NEAR IMPERVIOUS SKIN. Have you ever skinned your knee? Hurts like a bitch, and every time it happens I'm like, damn, I wish I was Luke Cage right now. In closing, Luke Cage. -- HM.
Can the Bruins physical play slow down the high scoring Pens? Will Pittsburgh be able to expose the young Boston defense? Problem for the Bruins: Pittsburgh can beat you with offensive flourish and with gritty, dirt goals too.
Hey Wysh - Love listening to the MVSW podcasts! Quick question for you - How much do you love watching Pascal Dupuis play and who do you think's going to offer him way too much money this summer? Dupper has shown his versatility time and again and I can't see some team making him a offer he couldn't refuse (> 4+ million). Thoughts? Comments? I've always liked Dupuis's game, but I think we can all agree that he's very much a product of his center. I think he'd get $4m as a free agent, but those numbers can't be replicated. - Wysh (and thanks for the kind words)
Will Gulutzan have to get an AHL job again before he can land another NHL gig? I think he would have been great for Colorado and got the blame for the transition front office in Dallas, just like Tip. With the many big names (AV, Ruff, Torts, maybe Tip) on the market, coupled with GG's inexperience at the NHL level, you'd have to think he'll end up in the AHL before getting another crack at The Show. The NHL loves to recycle old coaches. He might have to wait his turn to get back in. -SL.
I think Gulutzan is really respected around the league, and people feel he got the shaft in Dallas. Wouldn't surprise me to see him get the Pete DeBoer thing -- fired from a bad team, hired by a good team after cutting his teeth in the NHL. - Wysh.
Do the Kings have what it takes to repeat? How do you see the Vokoun-Fleury issue playing out? Will that be the Penguins Achilles heel? Vokoun has been steady as she goes since taking over from Fleury - don't see goaltending being an issue for the Pens in this series.
Who do you think the Pens will be able to keep this off season? Who will they lose? Who is most important to re-sign? Wonder if they can fit Iginla in with a 2- or 3-year deal? -Sam.
Do the Russians have a legitimate chance at the Gold in Sochi? Or is it another U.S. vs. Canada fight to the death pretend animosity? Any nation I'm seriously overlooking? Sweden is always going to be a contender. Russia is going to face ungodly pressure to win. Canada's stacked; the U.S. will again try to do it with goaltending. - Wysh.
Russia definitely has the players to win gold. At home and highly motivated. Canada, US and usual suspects Sweden and Finland...the Czechs, the Slovaks on the next tier. -Sam.
What is the key factor for the bruins to pull off the upset? Staying out of the penalty box/limiting the Penguins' power play. And Rask outplaying Vokoun/Fleury/Gilles Meloche in goal. -Sam.
Do you think this is the best conference finals the NHL has ever sceen? These are two great matchups with lots of compelling storylines. Let's just hope they can come close to matching the hype. -Sam.
What is going to happen with Fleury at season's end? I think they might kick some tires if there's any interest, but having Vokoun for at least one more year, I think they can let him try and figure out his playoff issues. -SL.
I mean, you can't rely on a late 30's goalie for future seasons, but Fleury has shown he can't be trusted in the postseason. Do you think they try to trade him at the draft for a prospect, young goalie, or picks to take a goalie? I think Penguins keep Fleury and hope he gets back on track. -Sam.
This isn't related to the playoffs but... What do you say are the Oilers greatest strengths & weaknesses? If you had to trade one of the young guns (Hall, Nuge, Ebs, Yak or Schultz) who would you trade and for who in return? Oilers need to shore up their back end somehow. That's a tough one because I like the four young forwards you mention. If I can get a 2-3 D-man, however, I'd give up one of those guys. You still have Gagner in the mix and I'd keep him.
Thoughts on the newest 538 piece on why Cananda isn't winning any Stanley Cups? I only got thru the first 238 pieces, so don't feel qualified to answer... -Sam.
Can the TBL win the cup next year? Nah ... too many holes in that lineup. - Wysh.
Too soon, too soon... -Sam.
Assuming Richards gets bought out what team does he go to and why? Back to Dallas on a discount maybe? - Wysh.
If the RedWings would have won on the blow call int he 3rd period of game 7, what do you think the NHL would have done? Same thing the league is doing now. Backed Walkom on the call. -Sam.
Do you think Torey Krug keeps it up in the Eastern Conference Finals, or do you think Pittsburgh brings him back down to Earth? He has to come back down to Earth, right? Right? He'll probably cool off vs. the Penguins. -SL.
Gonna go way out on a limb and predict that Torey Krug does NOT score a goal-a-game in the East conf final. -Sam.
What chance do you give of the Bruins beating the Pens? 45.5% -Sam.
A lot of Chicago meatballs cry that Ray Emery should be starting over Crawford, which is ridiculous, but do you see Crawford being the 'Hawks netminder for the foreseeable future? Yes. -Sam.
Dear Sirs, Should I make the announcement Now that I am carrying Patrick Sharp's lovechild, or wait until the playoffs are over?? Wait till the playoffs are over. -Sam.
Will the Caps ever win the cup? I'm tired of being disappointed every year and I know it has to happen sometime. Keep the faith. -Sam.
How much interest do you think there will be in ryane clowe this offseason? If he wants 5 years at $5M per, as was rumored when he was traded to the Rangers, that seems like too long and too much. But it's a thin UFA crop, and Clowe brings physicality and skill and surely played through injury...so who knows, maybe somebody needs a power forward and pays up. -Sam.
Tons, because he's a big winger that can score a bit and that's all you need to be to make a fortune. -- HM.
Any advice for someone who's trying to get more involved in hockey? (Watching/learning game, not playing) If you have the chance to see live games -- whatever the level, minor pro, junior, kids, beer league -- get yourself to the rink. Nothing like being there. Also, fantasy pools are a good way to connect to NHL and get to know the players.
Go to see live games as much as possible to see how plays develop, get a sense of the speed of the game, etc. - Wysh.
Who do you like for the cup? Ask me 4 times, I might give you 4 answers. I'll pick the penguins, but it is truly wide open and it'll probably come down to the hottest goalie. -Sam.
I picked LA at the beginning of the season and Chicago at the beginning of the playoffs. But I think Boston has the deepest forwards corps and the Penguins have Crosby, so... one of those four. -- HM.
Who do u like in the Hawks-Kings series? It's 50-50, but I like the Hawks. -Sam.
Like the Hawks but I can't bet against the Kings - tough team to play against, they have the best goalie going in the spring tournament and they're da defending champeens. - SM.
Last updated: 2013-06-04 15:09 UTC
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[Table] IAmA: I am Connor Pritchard (co-creator of Workaholics). I'm launching a treasure hunt with my new book series. $5,000 prize. Ask me anything.

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-09-26
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Which episode is your favorite? Out of the Karl, Blake , Adam and Ders, who is the funniest in real life? Mushroom Trip for sure. Kyle is the glue. Adam is the funniest. Blake is the weirdest and Ders is the best writer. Adam is one of those kids who finishes a line and then widens his eyes and scans the room to make sure everyone is laughing.
When are you going to outgrow sucking on your beard? No matter how much you accomplish you will still be the same penis twirling ginger that refused to help clean our room. Go fucking study your alien symbols and get off my twelve upvotes AMA.
As a brit it makes me a little butthurt that workaholics isnt on but shows like downton abbey are. Also do you go on 4chan? Isn't 4chan and Reddit like bloods and crypts? I'm a Redditor through and through.
You should read the book though. The main characters are mostly British. PM me and will send you the kindle.
It's more debate team and quiz bowl, both convinced they're cooler than the other but don't realize no one else cares. Thanks for clarifying. Can I steal your username for a creepy Belgian action movie villain who wears turtle necks and kills people with a gold uzi?
Sure but I stole it from Seinfeld (George has always wanted to be a fake architect), so there's that to consider. Damn. Doug Stanhope's bit on Seinfeld ruined it for me. Look it up.
Do the guys do drugs in real life? are they anything like their characters on the show ? Those guys are in commercials now and have PR agents. I don't know if I can reveal their vices. I do drugs though. There are some in my office right now. Does that help?
They are exactly like their characters on the show. Lots of times the writers would spend days coming up with a perfect line and these guys would improv something 100x better.
Sativa or Indica? I have a friend that works for the Cannabis Cup. She brings over photo canisters and I enjoy whatever is inside of them. Not really a social smoker though. I like being alone on Spotify filling up notebooks with bad movie ideas.
What is your favorite playlist? Your own or other? Love your show and thanks for responding! Find me on Spotify. Recently, I've been doing red wine star walks to Tycho while trying to memorize the constellations. Also can't turn off the new Arctic Monkeys album (AM). I think Alex Turner is an underrated lyrical genius.
I will and I have Tycho - The Disconnect in my starred list, very chill. Will give the Artic Monkeys a listen later, thanks. And hell yeah, the stars above are too beautiful to ignore. I do it all the time in my home country Belize. I've actually been talking to a friend in music production about doing a star walk mix and putting it up on soundcloud. People would have to get the star walk app but then we would lead you through a music/voice over tour of the mythology and celestial mechanics. All you would have to do is point your iPhone at the sky and follow along.
I bet the Milky Way is amazing in Belize. Will check out the Disconnect for sure.
I would love to work with you! Is there any way to get a treatment to you for a project I've been writing for to you to see if you'd be interested in working together, in any capacity (actor or writer)?! I would be honored to work with you! Thank you for reading! Dude, treatments are like business cards these days. Everyone has them. You gotta think in terms of finished products now. Scrap some money together and shoot your idea. Bring it to life and then start pitching it. That's what we did.
We are filming it now! Still fresh with it, only 3 weeks into filming it. But thank you for your advice!!! Greatly appreciated! Huge fan of Workaholics btw!! Pick up The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It changed my life and will give you the mental framework to take on the entertainment business and all the assholes that come along with it. Good luck!
When you make a porn, what will be the theme?? Kanye West and Kim Kardashian talking a galactic cruise to the planet made entirely of diamonds.
Have you ever partied with any of the cast members? And if so, I'd love to hear any interesting stories you'd like to share! Yes, we used to promote Adam's comedy shows at the Improv and have parties afterwards. If you want to laugh, you should hang out with those guys. If you want to go on a crazy bender that results in hilarious stories, then you should come with myself and the other co-creator. No one knows who we are so we can get much weirder.
Who would win in a fight, Sloth or Mr. Woodruff? Sloth played football for the Oakland Raiders in their hayday. They were a bunch of drugged up convicts led by a drunk QB. I think he would win. And I think the Oakland Raiders are worthy of a Boogie Nights style movie.
TIL that Sloth indeed was a Raider. Thank you, Conner. Stand by. Looking for the article I read about them. One guy rode a horse to practice and they would stay up all night and do drugs in hot tubs the night before the game. Movie worthy for sure.
How did the "catherine zeta jones" song come to existence? who thought of it?? I'm pretty sure that was a combination of Adam and some late night Redbull sessions. He comes from a theater background and started singing it. It's hard to remember the origin of jokes though. Someone will bring something up in the room and then everyone will add onto it. Then you're laughing for a half hour and can't remember what started it.
Need a PA? I'm a fan and really would work my ass off just to be on the set. I'm currently sitting in a nerd cave in Marin County using my "tight butthole" money to write books. Can't help you but I started as a PA too. I know the grind. Find your group of hard-working optimistic people and come up together. Good luck.
Best worst movie of all time? Commando. We got high one time in college and tallied the island scene body count meticulously rewinding each explosions and arguing over the fatalities. "Lay off some steam Bennet!"
More like best movie, the scene where he jumped off the landing gear is the truth. "Remember Epicbehavior when I promised to kill you last...I lied."
I swear He never reloads his gun once that whole goddamn movie. I know this username. Expect an email soon. Have some updates on the new project front.
What was your reaction when Jet Set past away? Sad. We picked him and Waymund out of a pool of extras in a former porn studio in Chatsworth, CA. I was out at movie last year and a commercial came on with them. Its weird to think how a random decision altered the course of their lives.
Is there an ETA for Season 4? Shooting Season 4 Episode 5 right now. Not sure if they have picked an air date yet. There are 13 episode pickups for this season and the next one though. Sometime next year.
What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail? Get hired by Richard Branson to throw the first drug induced theme party in Space or visit every country in the world before I die.
Favorite line from any workaholics episode ever? Suck our dicks chant from half-Xmas because it was hilarious and humbling. I thought the half-xmas idea was pretty dumb and was resistant to it. When I saw the episode, it was hilarious. I realized that I should keep my mouth shut and let those guys deliver the funny.
What's your prediction for the end of Breaking Bad? The big question here is the Gray Matter folks. Was it just a trigger or did it spark an idea for Walt to get legitimate money to his family?
My humble guess is Walt visits them and makes a deal. Then he kills all the Nazi's. Jesse kills Todd (can't wait for this) and then Walt turns himself in. But before he does, he takes the ricin. We fade out to Gilligan before he dies.
How often do you visit sandals Jamaica? Only been to a sandals in Cancun for a wedding. Got Montezuma's revenge so bad that I started hallucinating. Had to have a doctor come to my room and administer an IV. Never going to a Sandals again.
The treasure hunt seems like a fun idea... are you familiar with geocaching? This sounds like a more exciting version! Yup. This one is a little more old school; an homage to Goonies and Indiana Jones. There might be some GPS coordinates in the clues though. I just hope someone worthy ends up winning the grand prize.
I wish you weren't just doing this is San Fran... why not some obscure small North Carolina town instead? The plan is to do this one in my hometown and then do a national hunt for Book II which is all based on the Tarot.
Just saying. Yes, it was tequila. I'm lucky some thirteen year olds did not find the treasure and end up in the hospital getting their stomachs pumped.
Also, what was the tequila in the sugar skull... that looks amazing. Stand by e6c. Hunt will be coming your way soon.
What did you do before Workaholics? Did you go to film school? Got rejected from film school at Loyola Marymount but ended up studying history which taught me how to write and research. I kept the rejection letter on my wall as motivation. Film school can help you network but its mostly a big circle jerk that leaves you in debt. DYI production is the way to go.
After school, I did a bunch of production assistant work for reality shows. Almost got fired for smuggling Rite Aide vodka to the Beauty and Geek cast. PA work lead to reading scripts. I covered so many bad ones that I decided to start writing my own. Reading The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (around 23) was a huge turning point too. Highly recommend.
Where are these treasures hidden? All within a 3.5 hour radius of SF. Some are with protectors and some are buried out in nature. Most of the locations are tied into the book. If you're not in the Bay, you will have to wait for the next one. Book II national hunt.
Sweet, where are you from in Marin? San Rafael represent. San Rafael too. I will buy you Theresa and Johnnies breakfast anytime you want. Have to head back to LA in Jan.
Leslie used to make me an off-menu meal there. Dude, she even puts truffle oil on the french fries. Do you know [redacted by NSA] by chance? Probably. I think I have gotten drunk with about 90% of Marin County at this point.
How did it feel to watch you're niners get gobsmacked by the Seahawks? + how much body mass should I cultivate before I start getting shredded? Also do you think I should take steroids? Lots of season left epicbehavior. We'll see if Pete Carrol is still smacking bubblicious and hi-fivin Sherman in January. You know he's from Marin County right?
Russel Crowe microwaved gallons of Dryer's ice cream and drank them to put on weight for a role. Try that and mix your steroids with insulin shots.
What is your favorite line from any Workaholics episode? Answered this one earlier, "Suck our dicks chant from half-xmas because it was hilarious and humbling. I thought the half-xmas idea was pretty dumb and was resistant to it. When I saw the episode, it was hilarious. I realized that I should keep my mouth shut and let those guys deliver the funny.
What up with all these books? It's the only way you can sell big movie/tv ideas these days. PM me your email and I will send you the kindle and all of the artwork.
Fuck me. Didn't even realize you trolled me with a quote. Not enough sleep recently and too much caffeine.
Why is it that you seem to be able to talk about drugs and not sound like that guy who's always bringing drugs into the mix? It may just be a halo effect, but it reads far more matter-of-factly than when someone mentions drugs to either be shocking or serve as a public announcement. If you grow up in Northern California, they are just part of your lifestyle. I will openly smoke in front of my Mom but have to sneak attack non-organic foods.
Is $5,000 where the threshold is that people will do anything for? $5,000 no. This is just a fun treasure hunt. $10,000 and I think we could get into some Go Pro filmed wiffle ball bat Hunger Games type stuff.
Hey Connor! Thanks for doing this AMA! What inspired you to create workaholics? Was it tied to your personal life or just a crazy one you wish you had? The other co-creator is one of my best childhood friends. Since high school, we have been throwing cheap and creative theme parties. This continued through college and into our post-grad years. Over that time, we amassed a huge group of friends and notebooks full of crazy stories. The Ders cockroach scene? That actually happened to one of our friends after a night of drinking. We ended up doing a book of theme party ideas but we wanted a bigger vehicle to retell our stories. That's how the collaboration began.
Dom and I are both 31 now and tapering down that lifestyle but we have drinking stories that can compete with anyone.
I will almost certainly be driving in from out of town that first weekend in order to participate. As somebody who doesn't readily have a video camera and being the last remaining human without a smart phone, what level of recording and documenting my journey is expected? No worries. A photo or good blog post will do. The locations are a combination of epic and hilarious. PM me your email and I will send you the kindle file. Excited to have you.
If I win can I be on set during one of your writing and filming sessions instead? If you win, you should use the money to go somewhere much cooler than Los Angeles. Do one of the Green Tortoise Adventure tours. They are awesome.
What are the exact coordinates of the treasure? Should I pack for warm or cold? Feel free to PM me with your response. You will find out on 10/11/13. Pack for both. The tricky part will be deciding which card to go after.
How did you get the idea for Workaholics, and about how long was the process from being an idea to premiere night? It started as a web series about three guys just out of college and in their first nine to five jobs. College mentality/work reality. The Dudes were already doing videos at their house and we had an empty office space (old porn studio) to shoot. It was a perfect match.
Everything in entertainment moves slow. After CC acquired our web series, we had to shoot a pilot. They gave us $50k. It was the largest budget we've ever had and we were going to shoot two episodes until CC found out and told us to do "one really good one."
That unaired pilot had to go through focus groups and screenings for about six months. We found out they were picking up the show at the end of year. Then we had to write and produce season 1 the following year (2010). Then CC pushed back the air date until 2011 so they could build up the marketing campaign. By the time the show actually aired, I had $1200 in my bank account. You don't make a lot of money on your first season. So idea to premiere took over 3 years.
Are you familiar with the Kit Williams book Masquerade? Really awesome treasure hunt stuff: Link to en.wikipedia.org Wow. Just read the wiki. Looks like it was the origin of all armchair hunts. I was inspired by McSweeney's Clock Without a Face and Jonathan Gunson's Merlin Mystery.
This article makes me think that I should have orchestrated a scandal to get more press. I wish I was more evil. Feel-good stories get down voted to dungeons.
I hope I win or that be butt hurts. PM me your email and I will send the kindle file over. You can get a head start.
I enjoy your television program. Thanks man/dude/miss/sifellow redditor.
Let's. Get. Weird. That phrase is debatable as to its origin. I personally think it came from my super strange Marine buddy and carried over into the writing room but I can't specifically remember how it came onto the show.
Very loose butt-hole. Dude, your username is sitcom waiting to be written. It hits every comedy demographic. I'll email Ricky Gervais. Check is in the mail.
It is like that because 3 people share this account. Maybe this can be Reddit Studios first production. Everyone else is getting into original content. Why not Reddit? Is redditstudios taken?
One is Black The other lived in Britain And ethnically I am Jewish, not by religion though. This can be the place where we pitch each other horrible ideas that never get made. It will be just like Hollywood.
You're right, we can totally shorten it to /redstuds. I'm totally game to start this up. Here is our first slate of productions: Link to badpitches.tumblr.com
My buddy and I put up one bad movie or tv show idea every day. The contest was for a Picante super steak burrito and I lost.
Didnt you used to own one of those "top gun" hats, and didnt it get stolen. The tele-marketing idea came from one of our friends who was doing it at the time. We also considered having them work at Enterprise rental which takes a lot of post-grads.
We brought it up to the Dudes and Adam exploded into stories. He had been a cold calling steak salesmen in Nebraska. Top Gun hat and all. Not sure if it got stolen...good episode idea though.
Do an episode with the always sunny cast so I can die at peace. I saw Danny Devito, Rita Perlman, Charlie, and the Waitress all at a movie together in Hollywood. Danny had a bag of popcorn on his lap and his little 4th grade feet were hanging over the seat. Didn't want to bother them but they looked like genuinely good friends.
Sweet dude, thanks for the amazing show and the future treasure hunt looking forward to it! Hopefully, you are in the Bay and able to participate.
What's the most amount of abs you have ever seen on a guy? John Basedow or Lorenzo Lamas.
Last updated: 2013-10-01 03:13 UTC
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[Table] IAMA female cashier in a sex shop located in a fully nude strip club. AMA.

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-06-08
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Any awkward stories with someone you know coming in? Not yet. I try to make things as non-awkward as possible. I mean, it's just titties, and dildos, and butt plugs. It's life. People need a sexual outlet, I don't judge.
Speaking of dildos, I remember reading this road rage post where someone said they keep an extra large dildo in their car, to angrily shake at other drivers... One time I was helping my friend move across the state and we put a suction cup giant dildo on the dashboard for the whole ride. We got some awesome looks from other motorists.
So deep. Edit: daaaym! somebody just popped my reddit gold cherry! cheers, brah! We are celebrating here, and my girlfriend just quoted metro man "and i love YOU, random citizen" My room mate added: "from zero to hero - over night!" As you see, we are all very excited here ;) Oh my god. I am so honored. Really, I am.
It's just titties, and dildos, and butt plugs. Not something I expected to read today. I didn't expect to sell the most petite man I've ever seen an anus extending butt plug kit. It's a day of firsts!!
I mean, it's just titties, and dildos, and butt plugs. It's life. People need a sexual outlet. plugs... outlet. Miss, that was pretty funny. Thanks :) didn't even mean to.
If I may, what is difference between a butt plug and an anus extending butt plug? The anus extending butt plugs come in a series of three or four plugs that get bigger gradually as you become more butt plug experienced.
I also just read your comment about "seedy underbelly". You've got talent, kiddo, don't let it go to waste. Never. I've known that its my duty to share my sexual puns with the world since I was a wee lass.
How many xp do you need to make it to the next level? You have to be able to envelop the great American challenge.
Who was the single creepiest customer you've had? The guy that routinely pisses in the theatre and jizz booths. Fuck that guy. Really. Someone fuck him so he can stop coming here.
sorry... C'mon guy. With the advent of the Internet, anyone can get laid. There are sexy singles in your area!!
I still can't get laid, even with the internet. And I'm not even that ugly... Just scrawny, nerdy, and a social elephant. -.- C'mon. Have confidence. I know it's hard but you'll find someone :)
I don't think his being hard is helping the situation. I can't stop making puns!! I want to see a picture of you.
Are you really wishing this on yourself, dear? Alright boys, let's do this Currently dying. Love that gif.
If I sent one, do you have friends for me? What's that even mean?
1) What's the weirdest thing someone ever asked for? 2) Who's the creepiest customer you've ever encountered? 3) Has an attractive customer ever come on to you? 4) Have you ever had to kick someone out for whacking off? If so, how'd that turn out? 1) animal blowup dolls. So weird. Turns put we have a sheep... 2) definitely the guy that posses in the jizz booths. 3) yes, they have. 4) it went okay.
How do you feel when a creepy guy walks in and looks you over? A little shafted if he doesn't put a five in my bra.
Heh. shafted. Glad someone got that!
Hold up, is this allowed? BRB going to the sex shop real quick. I'd allow it. Money is money. As long as I can keep my clothes on.
What is the markup on most of the stuff you sale? Do you get commission? Favorite product. Pretty high markup. I get a bonus if I sell a certain amount during my shift. My favorite product is probably this weird delicious smelling pheromone spray stuff. I have no idea if it attracts men but it smells like yum.
Isn't that stuff meant for men to wear? I mean if you think it smells good doesn't that mean its working? It's meant for ladies. To attract men, I suppose. I don't really care who it's intended for, it smells nice.
You should definitely buy some, hit a bar, and let us know if it works. How will I know the difference between men attracted to the perfume versus my own alpha bitch stank?
I've seen the same thing marketed for men, and I always assumed it was BS. It totally is.
Is there sex in the champaine room? Oh god yes.
Chris Rock lied to us all. No longer allow Chris Rock to be your moral compass, my friend.
How much do they charge? You'll have to take it up with the specific lady in question.
Best advice in the whole thread- maybe on the entirety of reddit. Thank you. I thought it was very poignant.
Spurs or Heat? I don't really like baseball.
I find it rather unnerving when me and my S.O. Visit these shops and the girls ((Who like you are Unbelivable attractive)) make off hand comennt's like: "oooh I like this one." Or "This is my favorite. Good choice." Is this done on purpose? Just to make the situation less awkward? Also, have you ever had someone ask you for reccomendations on your products? Honestly, I just ring people's shit up and try to be pleasant but not make much eye contact. Shit is awkward enough without me telling customers which products i may or may not have had in my orifices. I had a guy get really frustrated with me because I couldn't tell him with production company had the most tastefully done movies. Men always ask me which vibrator is my favorite but I think that's out of perviness.
Well, what is your favorite vibrator? The we-vibe II. It's kind of fantastic.
FINALLY I meet someone who admits they use it! I see advertisements for this god damn thing in the newspaper all the time and I think I know how it works, but I don't know for sure. I assume one end is in your nasty and the other end is on the clitoris, right? That is correct. Vibration in all the intended areas. Next best thing to a real life penis. Actually, better than some.
Did any dildo sword fights occur? Hahah, way less than should be happening. I work alone so I'd have to find a willing customer!
Well don't do it to your very conservative 65 year old grandfather! He won't be pleased :( Lucky (rather, unlucky) for me I don't have grandfathers!
So if I thought you were hot and I was a customer (assuming most male customers do), what's a good receptive way to hit on you without coming off as creepy or like every other guy? Well, try your best to not objectify me or be creepy in general. If you thought I was attractive, you could tell me I was pretty or pick out a feature that you find aesthetically pleasing (let's keep it pg friendly) and compliment me on it. Ask me about my job maybe, if I like it. Avoid pick up lines. Make bad jokes. I like bad jokes.
I'd never piss in your jizz booth. wink I'd never piss in your jizz booth ;)
Avoid pick up lines. Make bad jokes. I like bad jokes. What about bad pickup lines? Depends on the delivery. I may or may not have made out with a man in a bar closet after he used a funny bad pick up like on me.
Total connection. Let's go get a drink and afterwards play some mario 64. You read me like a book.
Favorite pizza topping and do you sell the fleshlight shaped like a foot? Edit: Auto correct is a motherfucker. Jalapeños and pineapple. Please tell me that exists.
It exists. It's disturbing. Looks like someone stepped on a broken bottle on the beach. Enjoy: Link to www.imagechan.com Oh god. We don't have it, sadly. I want to check it out.
I thought i was the only one! just add some bacon and you've got a nice pizza pie!! Such a good combo. I don't eat bacon though. I thought I was the only one too!
Do you have the tentacle dildo/vibrator? It's even creepier. Oh boy. That's realll weird. We don't have that one.
Tell your boss people have been asking for them. Lol. Hahah, that'd be great. I need to see one irl.
Do you sell any Bad Dragon products? I wish. They look sick!
Ever sold/recomended/got requested anything from Baddragon? Not that I am aware of. Why?
Roughly how many times a day do you get hit on by customers? Honestly, not that often. Older gentlemen are most guilty of it. A lot of times I think the fellas are a bit ashamed/intimidated.
Update: 3 younger men just called me a "beautiful blond" and asked what time I was going on stage. Oh man.
Are there actually non good-looking people among your store's employees or is good looks a pre-requisite to work there (not counting the strippers / dancers themselves)? I overheard my manager ask the girl that got me the job whether I was cute or not, so, yes. There is definitely a lean towards the conventionally attractive during the hiring process. The drink waitresses have to fit this guideline as well.
Doesn't that violate some sort of law? Probably.
Actually I don't think so. As long as they don't discriminate against prospective employees because of race, color, sex, religion, creed, national origin, orientation etc. discrimination against the unattractive is completely legal. So now you know. I guess being conventionally attractive is half the battle.
Do you guys sell the great American challenge? We do! It's terrifying!
Anyone buy it who seemed to have the intent on using it? or is it mostly a gag gift? and how much does that thing cost? I'm pretty sure it's just a gag. I couldn't image someone wanting to insert that. It's 75 big bucks, my Internet friend.
I'm here to regretfully report I just looked up the Great American Challenge and found amateur material of female accommodation in both orifices, and male accommodation. Image searching is too easy and I may be scarred for life. Oh god. Will not look, will not look. Fuck. I looked. I regret it.
What is it? Huge huge huge dildo.
What are the weirdest things you sell? As a worker in a strip club how seedy are the guys you get? We sell this shit that is advertised as nail polish remover but apparently people huff it to intensify orgasms. Also, our fetish masks are terrifying. There are some pretty sketch patrons. The often are very drunk or smell terribly of body odor. I feel bad for the girls that have to dance all up on that.
That...that sounds just awful. Fetish masks freak me out, that's legitimately strange. Does the nail polish stuff actually work? How in gods name would that be discovered? People buy it in droves. And when I say people I mean men. I guess it works? I've never used it but I did open a bottle to used to fix my nail polish. I'm proud to report that it works in that way. It's been explained to me as a lesser form of chloroform.
Well that's even creepier! Its selling date-rape! Christfuck! I didn't even think about that!
That's freaking terrifying right!? Its like buying it right there in front of the women! It was explained to me that they use it on themselves and it is not meant to knock the user (victim?) out, rather, administer a bit of a dizzying buzz. I'm going to look more into this because I will not condone the sale of something that can be used to overpower someone for sexual means.
The substance is actually called Amyl Nitrate, it's used both recreationally for the buzz and because it relaxes the bodys sphincter muscles to ease anal penetration, I seriously doubt amyl could actually be used to overpower anyone. Thanks for the clarification! I'm really not familiar with the substance so I appreciate it :) glad it's not for less than wholesome (well, that's not the right word...) usage.
How much and what have you sold today? Lots of DVDs. So weird. Porn is fo' free folks. Way more shemale flicks than one would think. Sold a lot of bachelorette items (penis shaped things). Sold a good grand or so this shift. That's not indicative of most shifts though.
My mom worked at a sex shop for a bit. So awkward to hear her story's.. but she said that there was a bat behind the counter, and she had to threaten at least one person a night : her boss offered me a job there. I politely declined, but I feel like it would be pretty neat. I bet you get discounts ya? Thank your mother for the bat idea. I guess I'll be "beating off the men" whomp whomp. I get between 25 and 50 percent off goodies.
Has anyone relatively famous come into the club? We've had some porn actresses. Peter Pablo came in but we refused him entrance because he was not within our dress code, haha. Manager caught wind of that and flagged him down to get him to come back in because she knew he would make it rain.
You have a dress code? Dress pants/skirt, white button up top, and a tie. I wear a bow tie.
How often do you see younger guys come in? Is it usually more middle aged men? The younger men usually frequent the club whereas I get a good mix of couples, middle aged and older men in the shop.
Jizz booth? Yep. Little rooms that you can go into and "preview" movies. Complete with tissues and trash cans.
They're technically called peep rooms. I like my name better.
Well, TIL I guess. That is a way better name. Thank you for improving my vocabulary! Absolutely!
Do you have a lot of problems at your job with customers getting unruly with you or the dancers??? Not regularly but it definitely happens. That why we have our strong doormen.
I guess the line between cashieentertainer is completely lost on some men. Absolutely. Despite the fact that I am fully clothed and usually scowling.
usually scowling. This usually comes with the whole "working retail" thing. That's definitely what I have found. I'm definitely not unfriendly, I just have the face of a girl that does not fuck around with idiots.
Is there some sort of set routine for you if some customer tries to grab or fondle you? Is there like some sort of safe room? There really isn't. I guess just call for the doorman. Fortunately that has not happened since I've been here.
I care. Tell me a story! Please? Also, I think it's the dynamic between female sex shop employees and the mainly male clientele.
Favorite television series? Gilmore Girls.
OMG me too! I could watch it endlessly. I hope you're a man and I hope you're not kidding and I hope we can have Gilmore Girls slumber parties.
I'm a chic, sorry to disappoint, but I would still totally have a GG slumber party with you. Haha, I don't discriminate when it comes to GG! Also, when the hell has it ever been a disappointment on reddit that someone has turned out to be a lady :)
Guy who has watched all of Gilmore Girls and enjoys TV marathons, right here. It's just so damn good. If there's a marathon, I will not be productive that entire day.
Can you recommend me a good entry-level toy for mens? What are you looking to achieve? Like, a cock ring or a butt plug or a prostate stimulation toy?
Something like a pocket pussy or different but not anal play or prostate stimulation, I don't want anything in my butt lol. Obviously, my personal use of this product is very limited but I have a whole lot of men buy Zolo cups as they say that it is the nearest feeling to a vag.
Those look like something id heard of before, but never tried: tenga egg. Link to www.amazon.com. I had considered getting a number of tenga things. it looks like the zolo things are very similar. Zolo actually makes a set of these called pocket pool. I haven't really sold any of those though so I cannot attest to their quality.
That was weirdly wholesome. Yay you for knowing your shit. Every job deserves a hint of professionalism :)
Reread your last edit at least five times... All I can think of is what are you going to do with a pair of ass cheeks? That or a guy showing up with a gift, you unwrapping it and it's ass... Hahahaha. That reminds me of the scene in se7en but instead of a head it's butt cheeks.
Were you ever harassed in any way during your job? Also, what was the most awkward situation you had during your job? Btw, you look really cute. Thanks for the compliment. The closest I've been to harassed is an overly friendly gentleman named cowboy in a bolo with a tee shirt and a cowboy hat trying to kiss my cheek. I am not flirty at work and I will not permit men to treat me like I'm on display for them.
Do you actually get a lot "preview booth" customers? Is the internet that hard to come by? We do get a lot of preview customers. We also have a theatre with ten seats (weird, I know...). It's a lot of older men that I assume are not well versed with computers and jack off with the preferred modes of yesteryear.
What do you tell your family and friends you do or are honest about it? Completely honest about it. I don't have parents or a lot of family so that makes it easier. My friends come to visit me a lot, haha.
Do you get employee discounts, and how often do customers use the " its a joke gift for my friends birthday line"? My favorite ama i have read in awhile, so thanks :) Thanks!! I get 25 to 50 percent off depending on the item. People use that line very very often. I just wink and tell them that I don't judge!
Hello there! Here's my question: pancakes or waffles? Waffles. Alll day long. Gotta have some crunch on them though.
I suddenly like you a little more! Waffles are 1000 times better than pancakes! Absolutely.
Since you seem pretty open about your sex life: what are your biggest out of the ordinary turn-ons? Chubby bearded men in sweater vests. Not even kidding. Oh god beards.
Sup? Oh god. Yes. I also like men that look a little dirty.
Not related: I really like the way you wear your hair, how does it look in the back? Do you put it up with a clip or is it like a ponytail/bun? It is currently in a sock bun.
So what are you qualified for? Where would you be working if not the sex shop? I actually have two other jobs. This is for drinkin' money.
I have a funny story that you may or may not find amusing: I had to drop off a banner from the sex shop my boyfriend and I hang out at sometimes because we helped them at a promotional event. The owner needed it back fairly quickly and the only time we had to drop it off was on the way out of town. With my mother and 90 year old grandmother. Mom doesn't care but we tried to keep it vague with my grandmother and just told her we had to drop something off. Boyfriend ran inside with the banner and we sat in the car. After a minute of looking at the scantily clad mannequins in the window my grandmother goes "Is this a costume shop?" Hahaha. Old people and sex stores. Two great tastes that go great together. I have this 80 year old couple that come in frequently. So cute. I hope I'm still bangin' on it when I hit that golden era.
off, great AMA. Very few people actually answer all of the questions. What kind of weird fetish items does your shop carry? Thank you, gotta have dedication! We carry these awful fetish masks that contort your face into weird positions. Totally creep me out. We also have this thing that reminds me of a rocking horse that has two dildo attachments (one for the vagina, the other for the anus) and you rock back and forth on it.
Do strippers really have sex with the clients? I heard that shit "can't happen" and I've tried... lol to no avail. They do. Truly.
Was there any requirements? Nope. Aside from being 18, not looking like someone pick axed your face, and graduating high school, you're in.
This IAma is a really good read. Most of the good questions have already been asked but I'm curious to know what some of your hobbies are? Thank you :) I play guitar, banjo, and dulcimer, I paint, play tennis and golf, and I also drink whiskey.
I was wondering, Does your store sell penis extension pills and the other things that fit into that category? You know, the things that don't work. Yep. I usually tell people the shit doesn't work because if I paid 35 bucks for four pills that didn't work I'd be pissed.
Which of the products have you actually used? Not very many. A couple vibratory, a couple kind, a cock ring or two (on a willing male participant of course).
How many tattoos do you have? Only one.
What's your most interesting experience working there? Also, I really like your puns. Thanks, haha. I've been asked the same question a couple times so ill just give another interesting story :) I think probably learning about the whole stripping culture has been one of the most interesting things. Actually seeing the drug use and sex that happens is a little jarring for someone as, we'll, naive as me.
What's creepier, the club's clients or the males of reddit? Also, thanks for doing this. You seem like a refreshingly genuine person. Thank you. I'd say reddit creeps because they have the anonymity of the weinernet. The. Again club creeps have the potential to touch me.
Have you seen anyone you wished you hadn't seen? I knew a girl who worked at a store like that and she said she saw her professor there once and it was SUPER awkward. Not really. I'm pretty understanding.
How much do you get paid? 9 bucks an hour plus bonuses depending on how much I sell.
What's your favorite part of that job? Discounts, looking at titties whenever my heart desires, and free soda pop.
Desperation. Haha. I can't even.
If you had said you were a male cashier i wonder how many clicks you'da got. I was a male cashier for a sex shop next door to a fully nude sex club. ask me anything. No i really was. goddammit why doesn't anybody care. I care. Tell me a story! Please?
This isn't a question. Just wanted to say that you are pretty and I wish I could have a job like yours. That's very kind of you, thanks. I am woefully overqualified for this job so anyone can probably get it.
TIL there are semi-nude strip clubs. Yes. There are topless only clubs. In Michigan, we cannot sell alcohol in clubs that are fully nude so we also have titty bars that can sell.
You kinda look like a blonde Jane Lane. :) You have no idea how much I like this.
Last updated: 2013-06-13 00:03 UTC
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2013 WORLD POOL CHAMPIONSHIPS WINNERS Betting MONEY on a Pool Match!! World Cup of Pool 2013 - Holland vs Philippines 2013 Final 3 Racks BHT NEWS - WORLD CHAMPION JAVIER GOMEZ 2013 $500 POOL BET! **INTENSE**

In a previous post on the Rugby World Cup, we highlighted the following stat:. According to the Racing Post, in the last World Cup, there were 20 pool matches featuring handicaps of 30 points or more. Eight favourites covered the handicap while 12 fell short. Day two of the Breeders’ Cup kicks off at 3:05 ET with the $2 million Juvenile Fillies and will end Saturday night with the $5 million Classic, with a post time of 8:35 ET. In a previous post on the Rugby World Cup, we highlighted the following stat: According to the Racing Post, in the last World Cup, there were 20 pool matches featuring handicaps of 30 points or more. Eight favourites covered the handicap while 12 fell short. Or put another way, 12/20 underdogs beat their handicap. Football Betting Guide. New to football betting? NFL point spreads can be confusing at first, but our how to bet on football article help you bet like a seasoned pro! You'll also learn how to wager on teasers, parlays, over/unders, prop bets, futures and how point buying works. The 2021 Rugby League World Cup will be held in England between October 23 and November 27, 2021. It will be the 16th staging of the Rugby League World Cup and will include 16 teams. Australia are the reigning champions having conquered England 6-0 in the 2017 World Cup final, while Jamaica and Greece will make their tournament debuts in 2021.

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